Vol. I

Welcome to Marriagezilla Revolution
by Abbey Stirgwolt

In the nearly seven months that I’ve been planning my Oct. 25 wedding — I should say, “planning with generous assistance from my mom” — I’ve learned a lot of things.

Most of them have been good; some rather telling. I can’t think of any negative experience I’ve had, but you can go ahead and knock on wood there.

One of the most important things I’ve learned, though, really has not so much to do with the wedding day as it does the days, months and years that will follow, and that is this:

It’s not all about the wedding — it’s about the marriage.

Now, it would be hypocritical of me to tell you to drop your $1,000 dress at Goodwill, pack up for Vegas and send all your RSVP’d guests gift certificates to a local fast food joint in lieu of a reception.

Weddings have been taking place for thousands of years, and there has to be a reason for that.

But on the other hand, it’s not a good idea to get so caught up in flowers, cake and bridesmaid dresses that you forget on your special day, you’ll be marrying the man you love.

Really, how cool is that?

Cool enough, obviously, to spend months planning a one-day (I guess sometimes it’s longer) celebration of the two of you for all your family and friends to share.

I have spent enough time on wedding Web sites to be familiar with the term ‘bridezilla.’ If you are not, and because my abbreviated Webster’s doesn’t have a definition for such a newfangled term, I will define it as “that girl who goes nuts about every single wedding detail and has to have everything perfect.” I’m sure if Webster were hip and with the times and had an official definition, that’s probably what it would be.

Did you just have an, “Oh my goodness, could that be me?” moment?

If yes: Well, there’s a difference between being details-oriented and blowing your top because one sweetheart rose in the Maid of Honor’s bouquet is a quarter-inch smaller in diameter than the rest.

Regardless, my point with “bridezilla” is to ask, “What if folks put as much time, effort and energy into their marriages as a ‘bridezilla’ does into her wedding?”
I think there would be “marriagezillas” everywhere, and probably America’s divorce rate would plummet because of it.

Here are a few things to consider:

When was the last time you and your fiancé went out on a date? Doesn’t have to be anywhere nice. Maybe just rent a movie or have a game night. And try not to talk about wedding stuff.

Have you thought about pre-marital counseling? Yeah, I sort of groaned at first, too, but really consider it. In our five-week review of “Strengthen Your Marriage” by Wayne Mack, my fiancé and I had a great time reading and going through questions together. We really learned a lot about ourselves and I think our marriage will be better for it.

What have you done to let your key planning-helpers — Mom, friends, future mother-in-law, etc. — know that you appreciate them? Why not schedule a lunch date or coffee, or bake her a plate of cookies to let her know her hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed?

Every once in a while, maybe a time when you get particularly burnt out or stressed because details just aren’t going your way, remember to take a step back (no, not literally, unless you think that will help). This is, for most, a once-in-a-lifetime day. The dress will get boxed up, the reception decorations taken down, the gifts put away.

That ring on your finger and the man it came from? He’ll be around for awhile. So make sure you invest in him first.

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To contact Abbey?

Send emails to: Abbey@lvsoundent.com

 

Do you have a comment or idea for the LV Sound Wedding DJ Zone?

Please email us: info@lvsoundent.com

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More Wedding DJ Zone Advice & Tips

CREATIVE IDEAS

Instead of numbering tables, name your tables. You can name your tables after favorite places. We saw one couple that was from the Columbus area and attended Ohio State University that named their tables after favorite area landmarks, buildings on campus, and other places that they enjoyed going to. At each table the couple put a card naming the table and explaining why that place was special to them. While your guests are going around looking for their table, they will learn a little more about the two of you.

Publish your own wedding newsletter to be passed out as a keepsake.

MUSIC IDEAS

Wedding Ceremony Selections:

Processionals

Canon In D - Pachelbel
Trumpet Voluntary - Clarke
Bridal March - Wagner

Recessionals

Wedding March - Mendelssohn
Trumpet Tune - Purcel

Wedding Reception Selections:

Father/Bride Dance

Daddy's Little Girl - Al Martino
Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle
I Loved Her First - Heartland
Unforgettable - Natalie / Nat King Cole
Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
Hero - Mariah Carey

Mother/Groom Dance

A Song For My Son - Mickey Viereck
Mama - Boyz II Men
Unforgettable - Natalie / Nat King Cole
Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
Hero - Mariah Carey

Bridal Party Dance

Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
Unforgettable - Natalie / Nat King Cole
What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

Bouquet Toss

Chapel Of Love - Dixie Cups
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Oh Yeah! - Yello

Garter Removal, Garter Toss, and Garter Remount (this part is optional)

The Stripper - David Rose
Legs - ZZ Top
You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker
Oh Yeah! - Yello

Anniversary Dance

For The Good Times - Ray Price
Grow Old With Me - Mary Chapin Carpenter

Last Dance

The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra or Steve Tyrell
New York, New York - Frank Sinatra
That's What Friends Are For - Dionne Warwick and Friends
I've Had The Time Of My Life - Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
Goodnight Sweetheart - The Spaniels
Last Dance - Donna Summer

Need more ideas? Here's the Top 200 requested wedding songs of all time!

List of the Top 200 Most Request Wedding Songs

 

MONEY SAVING IDEAS

Tuxedos...

Many of the larger tuxedo chains will have a special outlet store within their chain where used tuxedos are often available for purchase at prices often lower than what it would cost to rent a tuxedo. Think about it... even if the tuxedo is never worn again and thrown away, you will save money. Also, the tuxedo can be dry cleaned and saved for use on a cruise or a future formal function.

The one down side is that there may be less of a variety of accessories such as vests and ties available for purchase in the colors you desire. However, if you have a smaller wedding party, no wedding party (just the groom in a tux), or can live with black or white as your vest and tie colors (these colors go well with almost anything), purchasing a used tuxedo versus renting might be a great idea for you.

Disposable cameras...

As cell phone cameras have become so commonplace, fewer and fewer guests that want to take a picture will bother to do so with the disposable cameras that are placed on tables at receptions. In our many years of providing entertainment at weddings, we often see these cameras not even used at the end of the night.

If you do have your heart set on these cameras, save money by purchasing them at a wholesale club in large quantity and check the "must use by" date. These cameras get the best results with fresh film, so do not buy these cameras a year before your wedding. Also, don't bother with the specially decorated wedding models. These cameras often have a lesser quality film inside and cost many times what a name brand camera will cost at a wholesale club.

Do you have a money saving tip you would like to share? Email us.

FORGOTTEN THINGS AT WEDDING RECEPTIONS

Caterer or bartender does not have the champaign or preferred beverage ready on the table for the toast. Also, having the appropriate glassware for the toast on the head table is overlooked.

Bride misplaces the "toss" bouquet.

Bride forgets the garter.

Cutlery to be used for the cutting of the wedding cake is forgotten or not placed by the cake when needed. Also, couples need to review with their caterer whose responsibility it will be to cut and serve the wedding cake as all caterers do not provide this as a service.

Parents of the bride or groom cannot be found when it is their time to dance with their son or daughter.

Members of the bridal party cannot be found when it is their time to be introduced or dance together.

Person giving a toast makes their speech but forgets to raise their glass to conclude the toast.

There is no special basket or wishing well to use for the money dance.

Vendors that arrive ahead of time before the wedding, such as a florist or cake decorator, do not know where to drop off or set up their goods.

The bride and groom or a guest provides the DJ with a burned cd having a special song that the DJ may not have. They failed to test the cd ahead of time in a car stereo or boombox to make sure that it burned correctly. Even though the cd works on the computer, it may not have burned properly to play in a regular cd player. Always check!

RUDE GUEST BEHAVIOR

Guests do not turn off their cell phones or pagers even when asked to do so before a wedding ceremony. I have seen them go off during many a wedding ceremony. I even saw one guest take the call and tell the caller that they would call them back in a few minutes.

Guests do a variety of rude cell phone behaviors at the wedding reception such as taking calls at their table, surfing the internet and texting.

Guests that fail to honor the tradition that the bride and groom should have the first dance of the evening by going out onto the dance floor and dancing during or after the dinner.

Fighting. Yes, many couples fight at weddings.